"We know what we are, but not what we may be."
William Shakespeare

Monday, December 20, 2010

Almost Christmas

I wanted to write and add a new post. I had a friend write me yesterday and gave me the biggest compliment. She told me how she was impressed with the way I handled Wyatt when he misbehaved in front of her family the other week and how she thought I was a great mother. That made me smile. I can't think of a better or more special compliment to a woman.

I often wonder if I am doing the best that I can. I fight a battle with depression and I often wonder if I am doing everything I can to make Wyatt know how much I love him. But he is such a loving child that I see he is doing fine. I pray every night for him to grow into the loving and caring man that I hope he will be.

He did something last night that made me very proud of him. We were having the Children's Christmas party at church and they were playing Bingo. The first 4 kids that got Bingo, won a prize. One little girl really wanted the prize of Skittles, but Wyatt won the last game and won the Skittles. I sat down with Wyatt and told him how we had Skittles at home and how this girl really wanted them. I told him that it would be nice if he could share. But then I told him that he had won the Skittles so he had to be the one to decide if he wanted to keep them or share them. He thought about it for a minute and then walked over to give her the Skittles. It was wonderful to see my little man make such a big boy decision.

Hopefully he will have a wonderful Christmas. Santa is going out for him. Wyatt is getting a Wii and some games, he is getting a bunch of board games, a dart gun, zhu Zhu pets with the battle arena and battle armor, a slinky, candy, a leap frog discovery console with games, and he is also getting new movies. Its probably safe to say that he is a little spoiled.

He has started asking me when God is going to give us another baby. Sometimes its hard for me to answer those questions. All the miscarriages makes me feel like I have failed my family. In a year in a half we went through 3 miscarriages, two surgeries, and IVF (which include so many medical procedures, its ridiculous). I gained weight and was dealing with the depression that has haunted me for the last 6 years.

I went to see the doctor last week and got put on medication that will be ok to take if I get pregnant. The kind I was on was dangerous to a baby. Geoffrey and me stopped trying to have a baby awhile back because we wanted my body to have some rest. Its been through a lot. We are at the point where we are going to start trying again, but it will probably be a few months if I get pregnant since he is still gone most of the time with the Navy.

In May I had a surgery that cleaned out my uterus. During the IVF, the doctors found that I had polyps in my uterus and can make it difficult to carry a baby. Turns out that Wyatt was probably my miracle baby because the polyps have probably been there for along time. We are hoping that since my body has had the rest and the surgery that maybe when it happens again for us it will last. There is nothing we want more than another child. Geoffrey is such a wonderful father and Wyatt will make such a wonderful brother. However, we have decided that if we do miscarriage again that we are going to stop trying and adopt. Either way, we hope to have a baby by this time next year.

Well I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. I will make another post soon after Christmas with pics. We will be leaving a few days after Christmas to make the drive to Arizona to spend time with Geoffrey's family. We are excited to go and see the Grand Canyon and also Geoffrey said he would take us horse back riding so we are looking forward to it. :)

1 comment:

Jessica said...

Just want to say that I'm praying for you and hope that it all works out! Call me anytime! Love ya!